Beautiful, My Darling...



Song of Songs 4:7-"You are altogether beautiful, my darling, And there is no blemish in you."

     I struggle with "beauty" big time. Coveting it, misinterpreting it, cursing it, trying to attain it, basically ruining the heart of what beauty actually is. I can spot true beauty pretty easily; in a little sleeping baby, in an elderly couple holding hands, in the smile of my sister, the eyes of my mother, the laughter of my dad. But once the lens is on me, I see lashes that need mascara, a body that needs to be thinner, a smile that needs to be whiter. Never do I see in myself the beauty I see in others.

     It makes me feel like a crazy, vain person, but that's not the truth. The truth about my tortured view of beauty is that I'm hurting. Hurt isn't as visible as we think it is, but rather we take moments that hurt us, gathered from our adolescence into our adulthood and tuck them away in our hearts, hidden. We don't always share with others our hurts. We don't share with others the hurtful words, the hurtful hands, the hurtful absences and abandonment's, and often the hurts that go unsaid also get left unhealed.  Unaddressed and unhealed pain becomes such a part of us that we can believe it was deserved and those words and actions that hurt us get perpetuated by our own thoughts and hands. We become what hurts us.

     Realizing this breakdown of brokenness is life-changing. Tonight I washed off all my make-up, threw my hair up in a bun and looked in the mirror. I first prayed to see myself through Gods eyes, cause mine still judge me unfairly. Following that prayer, I asked myself for forgiveness and then I went down the list of all the audio/video clips captured in my mind and forgave them. Talk about self-intimacy, dang. My eyes are swollen, my nose is bright pink and my cheeks are tear-stained, but I've never felt more beautiful.

     For me, beauty has been hiding out in the act of God's healing. I just hadn't realized how desperately it needed to be found. Now, by no means am I "healed" by this one night, but I am in the process and that is a beautiful, wonderful, magical thing. I pray to see myself with the same grace I see others. I pray you see yourself with that same grace and love. You are not mascaraed eyelashes. You are not your weight. You are not a white smile. What you are is beautiful, my darling. Start forgiving yourself and whoever else led you to believe otherwise. Look at Mother Teresa, that woman radiated so much beauty it was blinding. But you see, it was her heart of love and forgiveness. Her beauty was God dwelling. This external stuff we judge ourselves on is only a lie to distract us from what is true...what is love...what is beautiful.

     Let's not stay trapped in those lies anymore. Go be beautiful. Smiles and love. :)

Happy Mosaic Heart Day

To those in love, to those who are heartbroken, to those who are against such a commercial holiday, I say to you, "Happy Mosaic Heart Day." We wouldn't be where we are without the joy and the pain we've experienced. I know my heart has been painfully and beautifully reconstructed. I know many of our hearts have. So instead of feeling lonely or bitter, particularly on February 14th, feel loved. God made a beautiful piece of art inside you, but its up to us to recognize it. Love is a mysterious and majestic thing, and its limits are endless. Let's choose not to focus on love that was lost or a love that is desired, but rather focus on the love that dwells inside you. It will always be there, maybe not in the same form it once was, but its there, painfully and beautifully reconstructed, more radiant and unique that you could have ever imagined. I thank God for putting together the pieces of my beautiful, mosaic heart.

Love the Skin You're In

If you're anything like me, you may feel like your skin has a slight vendetta against you. It knows the exact time to break out, or dry up, and its usually before that extremely important interview, family photo-shoot, or first run-in with the ex. I can't tell you how many times I've complained and pointed the finger at my skin, cursing it for failing me when I needed it the most. But as many wisemen say....when you point the finger, there are 3 more pointing back at you. (yes, I realize I'm already pointing TOWARD myself, but not AT myself...you know what I mean.)
So I asked myself, "Self, what are you doing to help your skin?"  I didn't really have an answer. Mostly I just washed my face with some "acne-fighting" cleanser, applied lotion, then started the cover-up, I mean make-up process. I had no idea the turmoil I was putting my skin in by using that harsh soap and then clogging the pores with heavy make-up.
Something needed to change, to I started researching the stuff I was putting on my skin and immediately made some changes. So far, these changes have worked for me and I've been doing it now for about 5 to 6 years. If your skin is screaming with dryness, splotchy-ness or breakouts, give this a try.

1. Only wash your face at night. If you wash your face more, it strips the natural oils and moisture which actually causes more breakouts. When you do wash, first splash warm water on your face to open your pores. Then using a soft, mild cleanser ( I use Dove, extra moisturizing bar soap) wash your face for 45 seconds or more. Rinse off the soap with cold water, to close your pores, then follow with a gentle moisturizer. (I use Aveeno Calming Moisturizer with SPF)
2. When you wake up, splash cold water on your face to rinse off any residue from sleeping and to close your pores. Then follow again with your choice of moisturizer.
3. As for make-up. The best thing to use to protect your pores from clogging is to use a foundation primer. This also helps with just protecting your skin from the dirt and pollution in the air. Smashbox makes a great primer and it won't break the bank. Remember with this stuff, a little goes a long way so use frugally.
4. Protect your skin! I struggle with this one, but over-exposure to the sun is not only damaging to your skin, but also increases your risk for skin cancer. You can still get a summer glow with a good SPH,  and enhance it with a bronzer or sunless tanning option. Or go the pale route. Vampires are very "in" right now. ;)
5. Drink water!!!! What we put ON our bodies is only a small fraction of the problem. Its what we put IN our bodies that will make the biggest difference. Mostly our skin will act out as a cry for hydration. Drink at least 8 bottles of water a day. If you already do, drink more. :)
6. Eat healthy. Check out this blog with the list of foods that will help make your skin glow with health. Remember, what we put in our bodies will ultimately reflect in what our outside looks like. Skin, hair, body and confidence!

Now, this may sound like a lot, but it takes time and a deliberate effort to be healthy and maintain truly (not make-up enhanced) healthy glow. I encourage everyone one of you to try at least the water drinking and skin washing tips for at least 3 months before you sign up for some $300/year skin-care regimen. 9 times out of 10 you'll see a difference and you'll save yourself tons of money and couterspace!

Musings on Love...

butterflies

words turn to butterflies-
entering the womb of my heart,
carrying me through the day.
i can look outside and see
the grey sky no longer grey,
but filled with mystery.
even the clouds, and their usual growls
seem to carry new hope.
nurture, nurture, nurture-
the word means something new.
its a slow process to grow something
beautiful-
i must remember to
let it flow-
day into night, night into day.
as each new sun passes-
i will smile.
i will hope.
i will wonder.
i will nurture.
i will give it away-
and wait for your words to return as butterflies.

-sea

________________________________________________________________________________

mosiac heart

i'd rather break into pieces,
than break into his nothing-
at least then,
You could turn those pieces into the beautiful mosaic that's now my heart.
in my brokenness-
only You could create an artful repair.

the day is divine,
once learned nothing can go back to the ways of our memory-
nothing will ever be the same.
it would only be a tragedy if it were-
i wouldn't have this treasure You made-
my beautiful mosaic heart.

-sea

Taming the Un-Tameable

 

The first step to taming your hair is to put all guns aside and make peace with each and every out-of-place-tendril. This can be difficult, but its absolutely necessary in the taming process. I do this with other areas of my life and it actually works! I'm sure you're wondering what "making peace" with your hair looks like, and it will vary from person to person, but I've found verbal affirmation to be the most effective. I look in the mirror and soak it in. I say to my frizz, "I love you Frizz. We've been through a lot, you and I." I say to my cowlick that likes to make the back of my hair stick up, "I love you Cowlick. I'm sure its harder for you than for me." Lastly I say to my uneven and unmatching curls, "I love you Curls. You are a part of my DNA and I embrace each and every one of you."

See, the thing about beauty is that it comes along, hand-in-hand, with peace. You will never find beauty without FIRST finding peace. This applies to every aspect of life, though I'm keeping this post focused on your hair. So as silly as verbal affirmations sound, especially when directing them at your hair, it works. :)

After you start feeling the love, you can start workin' on it. I don't wash my hair everyday because its naturally curly, therefore naturally DRY, so I use a water bottle to lightly wet down my hair and put a little bit of gel in my hands and scrunch. With long to semi-long hair, you can usually just let it air dry or use a diffuser on low heat. If you have shorter hair, after using a diffuser, having a small-medium barrelled curling iron nearby will help with the locks that haven't curled up or still seem out of place. Sometimes, even after doing everything right, you hair could still be reluctant to be tamed, so in that scenario, find a cute headband, push your hair back out of your face, scrunch the rest and let your mane be wild. Make a statement that says YOU rock that hair, it doesn't rock you.

Now, on a side note, (though it applies to the "taming" theme) my lovely roommate introduced me to a product called "AnGEL" made by "DevaCurl". Its AMAZING!!!! Now, its not the least expensive of hair products, but it lasts a LONG time and its so worth it. Its 100% sulfate-free and designed specifically to work WITH your hair. Check out this link to learn more about the product and it also gives some awesome tips. You can also find a retailer in your local area that sells it. I've found that prices tend to vary between different places that sell it so you may want to do some homework. Whether or not you try that particular product, if your hair is frizzy, course, curly, wavy, or chemically treated, its important to find sulfate-free products because they are less harsh. You hair needs to be hydrated and enriched, not depleted and stripped.

If you have any questions or anything to add, leave me a comment! My homework to you this week is to MAKE PEACE with your hair.  You are beautiful and your imperfections are part of your perfection.

Smiles and love!

Locks of Love Donation Day!

On Sunday, October 24th, 2010 you can donate your hair to Locks of Love and receive a free haircut! Check out these guidelines to see if you meet the hair requirements and if  you cannot donate, check out other ways to help! 
The event will be held at: Ciao Bella Hair Design ---> click on this link and "Become a fan"!

                                 5072 Ferrell Parkway Suite 118

                                   Virginia Beach, VA, 23464

Please consider giving back- and help these young, brave survivors, regain any sense of self that has been lost.  Unfortunately my hair is far to damaged, chemically, to donate, but after learning more about how this organization affects the hearts of survivors and how much this head of hair I'm so vainly obsessed with could change the quality of life for someone else- I vow to no longer bleach my hair- grow out at least 10 inches and donate. Maybe you'll do this with me?? :)

Smiles and lots of love!!

The "Mane" Point

Your hair is NOT your identity. It doesn't make you the beautiful spirit you are. Your hair is NOT you. With that being said, let's talk about that mane of yours and how it has this insane ability to make or break your day....

It occurred to me a few months ago, when i considered calling off work because my scalp had a bad reaction to some hairspray, (causing flakes the size of Texas!!!) that I was in some serious trouble. My roommate, who happens to also be my hairdresser, got to see the ugly side of Sarah and the tornado of emotions and brushes that ensued.

"This is DISGUSTING!!! Look at me! LOOK AT ME!!!!!! What am I supposed to do?? I hate my life!!! Help me!!! Fix it!!!!"

Yeah, it was a low point in my life. Here I am, a 27 year old female who has a herniated disc, unmarried, financial struggles, constantly struggling with my weight and what causes my life to come to a screeching halt?? My locks. My name is Sarah, and I'm obsessed with my hair.

The first few steps to freedom:

1. Admit you have a problem
2. Shave your head
3. Just kidding about Step #2
4. Laugh at yourself

I will be devoting some posts on here to your hair. I live with a hair magician and I've had TONS of personal experience with my curls, so its my divine duty to share what I know. Feel free to share your own hair horror stories, tips you've picked up on the way, or questions you have. (even if I don't have the answer, I've got some good references and I WILL find the answer!) :)

So go forth! Enjoy the rest of your day! If you're not liking what your seeing on your head, wrap it up in a scarf or cover it with a fun hat. DON'T obsess over it and let it ruin your mood.

Smiles!!